Shatteredpolaroids

About Shatteredpolaroids

IMPORTANT: I recently lost all of my whatsapp contacts and chat history while transferring to a new phone, so please send me another message if you are waiting for a reply from me!

Please read the WHOLE ad CAREFULLY before contacting me.
Trust me, it is VERY EASY for me to tell if you have not read it. (For example if your message just says 'hi' I will know you have not read the ad)

Please respect me, I am a person first and foremost and I have bills to pay, and I cannot do that if an appointment is cancelled at the last minute with no compensation.

Now, onto the actual fun stuff: me!

Heya! My name is Stephanie! I'm a flirty 26 year-old northern gal living in South Wales who loves nights out but loves a night in even more. My favourite type of date is an overnight where we go out for a couple of drinks and a nice dinner - I love an excuse to wear a nice dress and I make for fantastic arm candy if I do say so myself. My drinks of choice are: Bloody Mary, Espresso Martini, and Pornstar Martini (somewhat ironically I know), so please keep those in mind when choosing restaurants and bars for us to go to!

I enjoy travelling and will happily travel almost anywhere in the UK for a date - compensation for my train tickets is much appreciated however.

Various things I have studied in my life that you can use for conversation fodder on our date include music (I am a keen guitarist and bassist, and am learning piano. I briefly studied jazz and opera at sixth form), architecture (I have a degree in civil engineering and have always had an interest in building design), and physics (if you haven’t gathered already: I am a nerd). I am also a very adeskier, and have played a few different sports to varying levels through my life, ranging from local to national.

I absolutely adore a day out to a museum (especially one I have never been to before), a trip to a sports game (preferably football or rugby unless you’re willing to explain the rules of cricket to me), art galleries, and concerts (as long as it’s calm and seated - I have not been involved in a ‘mosh pit’ since I was 21 and very much intend to keep it that way).

I am very easy to get along with and will talk your ear off all night if you don't shut me up, especially if you start talking about one of the above topics.

If you’d like to buy me a gift to give me when we meet, here are some ideas: jewellery - I often wear bracelets and necklaces, and have pierced ears; video games - I use a Nintendo Switch for most of my gaming these days; clothes - I am usually a size 10, but with clothes it’s best to not leave it a surprise just so I can check the size charts for the brand before you buy anything; perfume - my favourite is Princess by Vera Wang; and if you’re still struggling to think of something, I have a wishlist on Amazon and Throne that I can show you.

I am 5'10, 130lbs, ~28” waist, ~36” hips

NO INCALLS - I am happy to travel almost anywhere in the UK for overnights, and am happy to meet you at yours or in a hotel of your choosing. I'm happy to meet whether you are 21 or 69, I don't mind!

If I appeal to you, send me a message on WHATSAPP - I will not respond to regular SMS messages (unsolicited phone calls will get your number blocked). And please respect the fact that I will not be on my phone 24/7, you probably wouldn’t like it if I was responding to inquiries while on a date with you x

I will not do any sessions at the drop of a hat, I like to screen people beforehand for my safety. If I have not met you before, I will usually need at least 7 days notice for a booking - however, as I am often busy, the ideal amount of time in advance to book is currently at least 1 month.

If your message just says “you available?” I’ll know you haven’t read my ad and your number will be blocked.

If it becomes clear to me in conversation that you have not read my ad, I’ll not be responding further - if I can’t trust you to read my ad, I probably can’t trust you in general.

Here is a scrihave written for you to use when messaging me so that I can ensure that you have read the whole ad, and to speed up the booking process for both of us, if you do not use this script, I will not reply - as it will show me whether you have read my ad.

“Hi from Birchplace! My name is [your name] and I’d really like to make a booking with you. Are you available on [date(s) at least 7 days away] at [time(s)] for a [duration (minimum 3 hours)] booking?

I am into [things you’re into] and would like to do [things you want to do] in our session. I love when girls wear [styles of clothes/lingerie/makeup that really get you going].

I have included a photo of my ID in my enquiry because I understand that your safety is very important and I would not expect someone from a marginalised community in a marginalised profession to meet a complete stranger without any assurances for her safety.

Hope to hear back from you soon!
[your name]”

Things that will get your number blocked:
- arguing with me about sending your ID (shows a lack of respect for my safety)

- trying to haggle on my prices (shows a lack of respect for my time)

- unsolicited phone calls (shows a lack of respect for my time)

Important: If you cancel a booked appointment less than 7 days beforehand, I will require at least 50% of the session cost to make up for the following:
1) the other work I turned down due to clashing with your booked appointment.
2) the work I put into myself and my appearance in the days leading up to your booked appointment: hair, nails, etc.
3) the inconvenience of me rearranging my calendar around your booked appointment only for it to be cancelled.